Imagine walking into your kitchen hungry, only to find… two sad options: a box of stale crackers and the same can of soup you’ve eaten three nights in a row. What are the chances that this picture is your erotic pantry, too?
This is what many people’s sex lives feel like.
A couple of go-to moves, a predictable routine, and not much else on the menu.
But just like your actual pantry, your erotic life deserves variety. Quick snacks. Slow-cooked meals. Five-layer cakes you only bake on special occasions. Options that add flexibility in your day-to-day and make you excited to come back for more.
Why Variety Matters in Your Sex Life
When we limit sex to the same one or two activities, we unintentionally box ourselves in. Desire thrives on novelty, curiosity, and choice. Not repetition. Without fresh options, intimacy can start to feel stagnant or even stressful. And sex becomes a chore we want to avoid instead of a playground we want to explore.
The Erotic Pantry helps you:
- Discover new possibilities you may not have considered.
- Understand your desires by noticing what excites you, what doesn’t, and what you’re curious about.
- Break old patterns with intimacy and avoid falling into “we always do it this way.”
- Make sex fun again without pressure or performance.
Because here’s the truth: sex isn’t just about doing more; it’s about exploring what’s possible.
That’s exactly why I created the Erotic Pantry worksheet. It will help you expand your conversation and your menu to rediscover what turns you on and connect with yourself and your partner in new, playful ways.
Meet Your Erotic Pantry
The Erotic Pantry worksheet is a curated list of erotic and intimate activities designed to spark connection, curiosity, and play. Some are sweet and simple, others adventurous and bold because your desires aren’t one-size-fits-all, and your options shouldn’t be either.
This isn’t an exhaustive list. It’s a launchpad, something to get the creative juices flowing when things feel stagnant, inaccessible, or stale. Think of it as a recipe book for desire: you get to pick what works, skip what doesn’t, and add your own ingredients as you go.
…And there are so many more ingredients you can one day add.
How to Use the Erotic Pantry to Boost Your Sex Life
This isn’t a quiz. There are no grades. Just exploration. Here’s how to get started:
- Fill It Out Alone First
Go through each activity and mark:- YES — You’re enthusiastic and open to this activity.
- NO — It’s a hard boundary or simply doesn’t appeal to you.
- MAYBE — You’re curious but not sure yet. Lots of discussion may be necessary.
- Compare Notes With Your Partner
Once you’ve filled it out individually, come together and share your answers. Use it as a neutral anchor to start conversations. No pressure. No judgment. Some answers may surprise you. Remember, what I’d say yes to doesn’t mean I need you or we to do. Your partner’s interests and boundaries are allowed to differ from yours. It’s NORMAL. - Explore With Consent
“Maybe” doesn’t mean “yes.” It’s an invitation to learn more, talk about boundaries, and explore at your own pace. Maybe doesn’t invite pressure to get to yes. Maybes can shift depending on timing, environment, or simply how you’re feeling that day. Maybes are a great opener to better understand what appeals to your partner and what causes them hesitation. - Revisit It Often
Your erotic identity isn’t static. Over time your body, your energy, your mind, and your desires will change. Your erotic identity evolves as you do. Revisit the worksheet when you feel stuck, want inspiration, or just want to try something new.
Why The Erotic Pantry Works
Most couples avoid talking about sex until there’s a problem. Honestly, most people are never taught how to comfortably talk about sex and intimacy without confronting shame, guilt, fear, or disgust to some degree. The wishful and deeply misguided hope is that it will naturally go away on its own. It won’t. And it’s more likely, it will get worse with time.
But intimacy thrives when we talk about sex before we’re in the bedroom having sex.
The Erotic Pantry creates safety and curiosity because:
- It removes guesswork. You’re no longer relying on assumptions.
- It reduces pressure. You’re exploring options, not setting expectations.
- It invites playfulness. Approaching your erotic life like a menu makes it fun, not stressful.
When you know your options, you give yourself, and your relationship, room to breathe. You lean into the experience you are creating, not just the task you are completing.
You deserve a sex life that feels alive, connected, and expansive. You deserve to feel playful, curious, and free in your body. The Erotic Pantry worksheet is your first step toward that.
Download Your Erotic Pantry Worksheet Now
Learn more about working with me at Ignite Anew.
Wanna dive deeper on your own? Check out Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller, PhD
